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Say “Amen!” if doing your hair can sometimes feel like going out to dinner at the same restaurant with the same person eating the same thing you always eat. The thrill is so gone. The desire is nonexistent. Buying a purple wig is more enticing than any other option you can conceive.

Curl Theorists, if this is you, then it’s time to plan a “Date Night” with your hair. It’s time to spice things up! The truth is that our hair sometimes needs extra TLC the same way we do. The kind of TLC that can’t be dispensed through a quickie shampoo (while you’re rushing to get to work on time) or a thoughtless twist-out that was completed after you’d already climbed into bed realizing you forgot to bring your spray bottle, your favorite butter/honey/shea cream AND your satin cap. Girl, bye.

Instead, what’s needed is good intentions and mindfulness. Not the latest product to hit the shelves at Target. Just you, present and in the moment.

  • Good Intentions: First, think about why you’re so tired of your hair. Is it because you keep wearing the same style? Then stop. Forget about the last time you tried a twist-out and it fell short of your expectations. Try again. So what if your wash-and-go was a bust! Use a different approach. Are you frustrated with the length (or lack thereof)? Let it go. Hair growth is a journey. There’s a uniqueness about your current length that you’ll never enjoy again when your hair is a different length, so embrace what you have today. Does your hair feel dry or look thin? Take the time to try one of those moisturize-and-seal regimens you’ve been reading about on various natural hair care websites. Are you craving a blow-out? Girl, go and get one and stop depriving yourself of the experience. The beauty of natural hair is that, if we’re willing to properly care for our hair, we can do ALL things: rock our twists, swing our straightened tresses, or shake our Afros. The bottom line: once you’ve identified the root cause of your discontentment, you can think clearly about the type of change you should make to your styling regimen in order to achieve a different outcome.
  • Mindfulness: So, Date Night can’t happen on the same night when you’ve got to be somewhere three hours later. And it shouldn’t happen the night before an important event where you know your hair HAS to be on point (why do we do that to ourselves, anyway?). Our hair deserves our uninterrupted time and our unfettered attention. It deserves our willingness to finger-detangle; our commitment to apply a plastic cap and heat to our deep conditioner for at least 20 minutes; and our wherewithal to make small-enough sections with our styling methods in order to create the definition or effect we’re seeking. It’s a fact that our time is precious and that we cannot always devote blocks of hours to hair exploration; however, it’s also a fact that our priorities dictate how we spend our time. So, just for tonight — Date Night — make your hair the top priority and spend some quality time with it.

With your good intentions to make a change and your mindfulness in the process, your Date Night with your hair should turn out to be one of the best personal investments you made all week. Cheers!


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